Anyways. I'm not lazy, I just have a bad habit of burning the candle at both ends and keeping up with my personal blog is last on my priority list. You know, right down there with sleeping more than 4 hours a night. If I were a dinosaur - I'd be Multitaskasaurus Rex.
First and foremost, on my travels across the blog-o-sphere tonight I came across something HORRIFYING. Actually - it all started with updating my twitter...and I follow Gary Fong's twitter...which led me to Gary Fongs latest blog post....which led me to Jessica Hughes Blog. Check out her blog. Read what happened to her. Please be advised that it contains graphic images. They're gross and disgusting - but totally making me realize I need to TURN OFF my computer so it does not CATCH ON FIRE. Aaaaand, they're bad but, no eyeballs or guts are hanging out. I'm a weenie - and I handled them without passing out. Some things need to be seen to get the point across. So anyways - go there. NOW. I'll wait....
Ok so - sometimes, during my travels to other people's (read: mainly other photographer's) blogs I feel worse than I did when I began. I feel like an total newbie as far as photography goes. I've never (knock on wood) had a client complain. In fact, every client I've had has been thrilled with the result. But I look at blogs like Bobbi & Mike, Jessica Hughes, David Jay, and yeah - I realize they're all awesome...and that's the problem - I hate being mediocre at ANYTHING. I hate knowing there are things out there I don't know HOW to do. I mean, I guess it's my fault for never following all 8,000 interests of mine in college wholeheartedly - but money ran out - I had to pick SOMETHING! I mean - just look at the variety of jobs I've had...and I loved them all! I love engineering and everything about it (except that I have no window). I love photography. I love reading. So why can't I just pick one damn thing and rock it? I don't know. I want to be good at everything. Especially being a mom. So - that makes me realize I can't do it all. Be it all. But dammit - I'm going to try my hardest so in 5 years, I rock the wedding photography world. We will see I guess. I'm going to take more classes soon and more workshops. Considering I've been to one class in my whole life on photography - everything else is self taught OR a la Monica Z in our impromptu holy-crap-how-do-I-do-this sessions...I think I'm doing alright. But, then, I also want to rock out at my 9-5. Oh - who knows where I'll be in 5 years. Maybe we'll be bums on the beach in the Bahamas. Yes please.
Long story short - I hate that I'm limited by not having a studio. So I'm breaking down and buying some studio equipment. Next up - win the lottery so I can build said studio.
Ok - I'm way behind on editing, because I can't stop reading other people's business...and because I've just turned a quick in-and-out blog post into a long winded ramblingness of nothing. I have to be at work in 7 hours and 45 minutes. So - I better get cracking on that to-do list I wrote at 7 am, huh?
Where's that bag of Oreos?
~*Niki
Oh and p.s. if anyone wants to see my current working conditions...check out this. What's this? Where am I supposed to sleep? Oh yes. That little blue corner on the right side of the bed. Sah-weet. Piper's bed is available. I might check into that.
1 comment:
Oh Lord Nikki, why do I feel like you and I are more and more related every time I read your darn blog? Are you sure you didn't have a blond twin that was lost at birth?
I fully understand where you are, from multitasking, to burning the candle at both ends, to having too many interests, and have a desire to be great at everything.
If you ever find solutions to the above, call me, LOL.
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